I started meditating and reflecting in all my past great, miraculous experiences that all spoke of God's faithfulness and love, and could not help but wonder as I still manege to panic and worry again and again. "What's Wrong With Me"??!!!
God started speaking to me through the story of the disciples in the boat with Jesus (Luke 8:23-25). And I think as the disciples were rebuked by Jesus on their little faith.. they were having a similar moment like mine. They stood there thinking that this was not their first encounter with Jesus, they were fully aware of who he was and what he could do. For indeed they witnessed first hand how he turned the water into wine, how he healed people left and right, how he fed those thousands of people with a couple of fish and loaf of bread. Yet they stood there fearing for their own dear life, panicking, yelling and screaming in the face of a wind storm. "What was wrong with them??!!!"
Then I thought about Peter in particular, he was a fisherman, being in the middle of the sea is what he did for living. You would only think that it was his comfort zone, little we know what went in his mind that moment. Because the sea was his life, he knew that it was not safe, he was raised to believe through all the folk tales, songs, life experiences around him that people drawn and boats break in the sea.
So do we, in our own sea of life, we know that in the course of life, we loose people, houses, jobs, investments, savings, we get hurt, and our hearts get broken.
Today I am reminded that before Jesus healed the man with leprosy he touched him first, healing his spirit from the long years of rejection, abandonment, low self esteem and emotional abuse. (Mark 1:40-42)
My prayers today, Lord, before you calm the winds and storms outside my boat.. speak calm and peace into my heart; before you speak healing and deliverance to my physical illness, my life challenges in finances and work, reach out your hand and touch me!
Today, I am Loved, I am Accepted and I am at Peace! (John 14:27)