"Search me O God and know my heart, test me and know my anxious thoughts, see if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting". (Psalm 139:23-24)
A couple of days ago one of my dearest girlfriends, new Black Berry keypad got locked, she didn't know what to do, she tried everything she knew looked into the online and the printed manual but there were no helpful instructions. So she posted on the wall of her Facebook page that she needs help unblocking her BB keypad.
Couple of us threw her suggestions and she would try them and post a minute later "Nope, did not work" with a sad smiley face, until another friend told her to try a button on the top of the devise. She found that button, it was hidden and sneaking but when she pressed it it worked, a minute later she posted a multiple happy smiley faces and a big "YES it worked". Her BB keypad was finally unlocked.
I often find myself stuck and blocked when faced with a dilemma of what is the best way to handle a situation, which is the best approach, what decision to make? Do I quit this job? Do I confront this person? Do I fire my cleaner? Is it ok to wait a little longer, and explore my options?
I become very anxious. How do I escape that fine line between submission and surrender? Am I loosing grounds when I admit the fact that I do not have the best way to resolving my own conflicts and my own problems? Am I afraid to ask for help because I believe that my strength and my self image/love/acceptance/ respect/self worth lies in my knowledge, and If I acknowledged my limitations and made them known I no longer own my power?
Today I know that my old beliefs that I am (loved/accepted/respected) partially or mostly because I am not really known and/or seen for who I truly am and/or what I really know or have, are no longer serving me well and are only making it hard for me to surrender. (Exodus 7: 13;22)
Today I rejoice in the fact that God knows my heart, my anxious thoughts and my ways; that he carefully examined, tested and saw them before he made me those promises and spoke those loving words of how much loved, accepted, beautiful, unique and commissioned I am.
