I have a journal in which I record the things I am praying for, the things I am aspiring for or having problems with, and I sign the date underneath.
It brings me great insight and perspective to revisit those entries from time to another.
My eyes are suddenly opened to see that what seemed to be a sudden interrupting situation is more like a pattern that keeps regenerating into my life over and over taking different forms and shapes.
While what seemed to be a heavy, mysterious time in the past is now so insignificant and trivial that I wish to take a time machine and tell myself to snap out of it or simply to get a life, which apparently I did at some point if this is how I feel.
Each time I made an entry in my prayer book I was not satisfied in a way or another with where I was and that’s why I took the time to pause and ask for change.
Taking a step back and looking at my life through those entries is like looking into the crystal ball of time. To see who I am in the inside; my state of mind and heart and my attitudes as I stood there in that holy land of "the in between" and aspired a "cross-over".
I start reacting to my life the same way I do when I read the story of the people Moses lead out of Egypt.
A reluctant exclamation mark arises when I observe how they reacted to being pursued by Pharaoh and his army terrified and cried out saying "Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die?" -- Exodus 14:11
Shortly the exclamation mark multiply joined with dozens of question marks and a very loud REALLY???????!!!!!! When the same people who just experienced the grandest miracle of all times in crossing the sea are grumbling "If only we had died by the LORD's hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death." -- Exodus 16:3
I start to see the "Rock" in Massah and Meribah (Exodus 17:6-7); But I am not sure if it is the rock that was stricken or the hearts that were hardened when the same people who crossed the river and were fed by the rains of bread and meat are now quarrelling and testing God because they are thirsty!!!
Life is a journey, and my journey is filled with seas to be crossed, hunger to be satisfied and thirst to be filled.
Today, I come with joy and thanksgiving in my heart, taking out my old attitude of suspicion of the unknown and what still to come. Realizing that the land on which I am standing is holy.
Today, in this infinite moment of my life, I joyfully celebrate that I am going to experience God's favor in a greater way. Today, I trust that I am going to overcome every obstacle and defeat every enemy.
