I feel uncomfortable and tired from all the dysfunctional behavior of the people around me. I do not seem to understand why they do what they do.
What is happening to my life? How Can I separate myself from this annoying, irritating madness? I want it to stop!!
These questions and thoughts got me thinking on a quote I read the other day in my favorite book, it said "when there is something wrong... there is nothing to do, there is something to know".
So, in the spirit of trying everything that works toward healing my life, I asked myself; why I am attracting this to my life? what are my beliefs that make me see and experience scheming, plotting and ganging up at work? It is becoming a repeated picture in my life and it only seems to progress, as if every every time I try to escape it, the worse the situation, the people and level of discomfort becomes.
I started looking deeper, beyond what I thought I was supposed to believe in, searching through my deep rooted old beliefs. And I began to see that life appears to me like one of those reality TV shows like survivor, big brother, and American Idol. Is this why I see alliances being formed around me fearing for their existence and working for their own survival by voting out the competition? That my security, safety and existence depend on someone's vote for me to stay. That if I was identified as the weakest link, I get eliminated, so I need to overwork myself to compensate? Ride myself so hard, working overtime, ignoring all the healthy boundaries and nourishment to my being so that I prove my worthiness of this place?!!
Today I am reminded of God's words in Isaiah 42:3 "that a bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out".
Today I believe that I am Safe, I am Blessed and that I am Enough! (Proverbs 10:22)