"Will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you and watch over you"-- Psalm 32:8
I am learning a new way to live. I am coming to believe that recognizing and acknowledging my unique talents and skills is not a synonym to arrogant pride or ego mania.
The more I learn to see myself the way my God sees me, the more I feel connected to life that I no longer satisfied by mere survival but more interested in living it to the full.
It is true that during the tough and challenging episodes of my life I sought peace by resonating to isolation and laying low in an attempt to bent and not break. Now I realize that ignoring to identify and explore my choices is like being a factory that operates only 20% of its machinery. It is walking everyday the fine line between submission and surrender.
In a failed attempt to convey this thought to my boss, I ended up having a text book miscommunication meeting. I made me thinking to quit sound as if it was for a completely different and self centered reason. On his part, as my boss tried to express his belief in my place within the organization he told me and I quote "I know you are a talented and sensitive writer and I am aware of your potential and where you could reach".
His words were weird in a funny way because it held no meaning or value. They held no real promise, and offered no relief for I am still to continue doing the same job that is not related to my skills or "sensitive talents" and conveyed no desire or vision to place me somewhere else where they could be utilized.
Remembering what my friend once said on how our Higher Power uses people's words to communicate his mind and heart with us even when they do not realize it or wish to. Those words held a different, more precious meaning and value coming from the God of my understanding. For I know that He "knows" me and all my skills, talents, experiences, potential, fear, knowledge and heart desires and He definitely knows where and how far I could go.
Today, I know that though I am powerless to make my life and circumstances the way I want them to be, my Higher Power is simply not. Today I trust that all things in my life work out together in accordance to His will, leading me to where I need to be. Today I know that I am always at the right place and at the right time.
Today, I know I am not alone.
