Today I declare that I am going to see God's favor in a greater way, that new doors are going to begin to open for me, that super natural opportunities are coming my way, that God is setting up divine connections for me, that I am always at the right place at the right time, that I am going to overcome every obstacle and defeat every enemy, that I am going to see every dream and every desire that God has placed into my heart come to pass.



Today, I dedicate my life to truth, love, peace and happiness. To Non injury through thought, word or deed.

Spirit Flight

Spirit Flight

Friday, December 10, 2010

Season's Inventory

Its the season for inventories.  I am getting ready to leave in 10 days; my shipping company asked me if they can pay a visit few days prior to the shipping date so they can look at my stuff and determine the right tools and materials to bring with for the packing.

Going through my stuff,  my books, my pictures... and the too many papers; posted and other scraps with quotes I heard or read somewhere, some are of favorite bible verses, lots of greeting cards from people I have known throughout my whole life, some have passed away, some we've lost touch and some who are just in a different place in our lives and our relationships, and some still make me smile because they are so true and some remind me of things I was going through then and still needed to hear and read today. 

I found this beautiful handwritten letter from someone who was my best friend for more than 10 years, she rarely talked or expressed herself fully, but I had no difficulty understanding, connecting or loving her.  She was and is one of the most beautiful spirits I have ever met.  The letter was sealed in a purple envelope "my favorite color" she has given it to me sometime before Christmas as I was travelling to stay in another country where I was going to spend Christmas, New Year's and my birthday and was even contemplating living in that country if all worked well for me.  The letter was; it was so beautiful expressed with so much love and joyful memories full of promises of more joyful adventures still to come; until there wasn't.  It brought tears to my eyes because this beautiful girl is no longer present in my life.  This memory was like Pandora's box that opened more wounds; it made me remember my grandmother with her big body sitting in the center of her bed with her two short silver curly braids and a smile on her face, whenever I came in burdened or disappointed, she would promise me that great goodness will come my way and she will live to see it.  Until she didn't.  

I sat then and there crying and grieving over what I lost, what I felt was stolen from me.  It was like going down the stairs to find a dungeon of a mysterious palace; where you see the truth of what really took place in that mystic place. I was there surrounded with dead dreams, crushed hopes and a broken heart.  As I allowed myself to grief and cry until I was quite, I continued going through my papers so I could finish and just climb into bed and silently go to sleep with a sad and freshly opened wound.  When I found then a piece of paper torn from some notebook that didn't look even like it was one of mine.  It had four lines written in it:
"Prayers depend on God's Goodness... unless God cares for me.. prayers are useless!
Praise depends on God's Faithfulness... unless God can always be trusted, there is no reason to praise Him!
Joy depends on God's Justice... unless God rights all wrong, there is no reason to exalt!
Therefore, no matter what happens in life, there is reason to be joyful; God promises that His Justice will prevail... I can take that to the bank; He is Good; He can be Trusted; and He will bring Justice"

I don't know where did I hear or read that, but I am glad I wrote it down.  It was like finding a hidden button in that dark dungeon and pressed it and there it was a secret door that opened, leading to a secret passage, to another place more bright that has the promises of change, freedom, goodness and better ending.  Just when I thought I unveiled the unfair/ugly face and truth of what life was all about; that nothing lasts forever; Relationships break; loved ones die; Scripted future have a way to not come to life; disease and old age steals dreams of motherhood and child birth; death steals the desired hopes that our children would one day have the happy memories with their extended family like we did, is no longer an option because they simply no longer exist.  

There is a saying that "People can never change the truth; but Truth can change people".  My loss was real and  true, but the other truth was right there staring me back in the face, one that bear witness of my Higher Power's nature and characteristics.  A truth that helped that did not only change my feelings, lifted my spirit but also generated hope into my life.  

Today, I realize that this season as it marks an end and a beginning in my life and my calendar; I have a choice, and 've been granted a gift to not see it as a season of Empty Womb.. but to exalt and rejoice in the true promises of God's words that makes it a season of an Empty Tomb.. where the dead has risen!

Today, I see the change in my life with all that have passed and all that is still unrealized, not as a time to wail but an invitation to rejoice gazing at the glory to come, which is so bright... it blinds the eye!  


  1. it really touched my heart ....
    very honest.
    some people have the talent to express what they feel and you are one of them.

  2. I love you Sue and miss you so much! Thanks for sharing that with us.

  3. Sue...reading through these lines... surfing in your memories ... reading your thoughts... made me realize my precious friend that now you are ready to open another new and successful chapter of your life away from the land that brought us together and witnessed the birth of our friendship, I promise you my dearest friend that you will always have a special place in my heart, thoughts and my house – wherever that would be on any planet ;)-
    Through the last couple of years, you have stripped your soul, revealed your weaknesses, taught me from your strengths, shared your happiness, your memories – good and bad, helped me face the weirdest of my childhood residues, and took my hand – and still are- to overcome -so far- the hardiest experience of my whole life...
    Although I know, I trust, and I promise you that our relationship – call it friendship, sisterhood…- will grow beyond and above all geographical boundaries, I cannot but feel sad to think that I won’t have you in my daily life, I won’t be sharing the morning coffee with you, and I won’t have you to share the after-work rosé :(
    I love you Sue, and I wish I’ll always have a place in your heart and mind.

  4. Your words reminded me of my mom's prayers for over 30 years "God save my daughters, if not in my life, after my death." She was lucky enough to see it happening in her life and I think God wanted to give her that reward; an unmatchable reward by all means, I believe.

    It also reminds me that there are people who plants seeds and others who harvest not because of anything but because it is God's plan.

    It is true that your friend didn't see the more joyfull adventures and your grandma didn't witness the goodness but what is more important is that you see the joy and feel the goodness and they will also see it in their own ways.

    Because we are human, we still sometimes translate goodness and joy in a human way but the heavenly goodness and joy are heavenly and supernatural, not from this world. And Sue, I can see goodness and joy in your life. I can see goodness and joy in my life. I was waiting for a certain reward when I realized how parenting, though difficult, is very rewarding.

    I very much declare with you that "Today, I realize that this season as it marks an end and a beginning in my life and my calender, I have a choice and been granted a gift to not see it as a season of Empty Womb.. but to exalt and rejoice in the true promises of God's words that makes it a season of an Empty Tomb.. where the dead has risen." Amazingly put and inspiring as always.

    I Love You "Charisma"
    A professor once said that a charismatic person is one that inspires others.