Hands on Heart

I woke up with a stormy mind and heart, overwhelmed by all that seems Just Not Working any more. I am trying to stay positive and practice my affirmation towards curing my life. Yet I could not shake the thought of my mind from coming out of my mouth. "I feel Stuck"!

I started meditating and reflecting in all my past great, miraculous experiences that all spoke of God's faithfulness and love, and could not help but wonder as I still manege to panic and worry again and again. "What's Wrong With Me"??!!!

God started speaking to me through the story of the disciples in the boat with Jesus (Luke 8:23-25). And I think as the disciples were rebuked by Jesus on their little faith.. they were having a similar moment like mine. They stood there thinking that this was not their first encounter with Jesus, they were fully aware of who he was and what he could do. For indeed they witnessed first hand how he turned the water into wine, how he healed people left and right, how he fed those thousands of people with a couple of fish and loaf of bread. Yet they stood there fearing for their own dear life, panicking, yelling and screaming in the face of a wind storm. "What was wrong with them??!!!"

Then I thought about Peter in particular, he was a fisherman, being in the middle of the sea is what he did for living. You would only think that it was his comfort zone, little we know what went in his mind that moment. Because the sea was his life, he knew that it was not safe, he was raised to believe through all the folk tales, songs, life experiences around him that people drawn and boats break in the sea.

So do we, in our own sea of life, we know that in the course of life, we loose people, houses, jobs, investments, savings, we get hurt, and our hearts get broken.

Today I am reminded that before Jesus healed the man with leprosy he touched him first, healing his spirit from the long years of rejection, abandonment, low self esteem and emotional abuse. (Mark 1:40-42)

My prayers today, Lord, before you calm the winds and storms outside my boat.. speak calm and peace into my heart; before you speak healing and deliverance to my physical illness, my life challenges in finances and work, reach out your hand and touch me!

Today, I am Loved, I am Accepted and I am at Peace! (John 14:27)

I am Safe... I am Enough

I feel uncomfortable and tired from all the dysfunctional behavior of the people around me. I do not seem to understand why they do what they do.

What is happening to my life? How Can I separate myself from this annoying, irritating madness? I want it to stop!!

These questions and thoughts got me thinking on a quote I read the other day in my favorite book, it said "when there is something wrong... there is nothing to do, there is something to know".

So, in the spirit of trying everything that works toward healing my life, I asked myself; why I am attracting this to my life? what are my beliefs that make me see and experience scheming, plotting and ganging up at work? It is becoming a repeated picture in my life and it only seems to progress, as if every every time I try to escape it, the worse the situation, the people and level of discomfort becomes.

I started looking deeper, beyond what I thought I was supposed to believe in, searching through my deep rooted old beliefs. And I began to see that life appears to me like one of those reality TV shows like survivor, big brother, and American Idol. Is this why I see alliances being formed around me fearing for their existence and working for their own survival by voting out the competition? That my security, safety and existence depend on someone's vote for me to stay. That if I was identified as the weakest link, I get eliminated, so I need to overwork myself to compensate? Ride myself so hard, working overtime, ignoring all the healthy boundaries and nourishment to my being so that I prove my worthiness of this place?!!

Today I am reminded of God's words in Isaiah 42:3 "that a bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out".

Today I believe that I am Safe, I am Blessed and that I am Enough! (Proverbs 10:22)

The Fruit of the Spirit

These days I am reading from a book called "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise L. Hay. It talks about how our beliefs determine the outcomes of our lives in terms of what happens to us through what we attract into our lives (situations, relationships, people, even disease or symptoms).

At the end of the book there is a chapter on the list of physical problems with the cause and the new thought pattern that would help reverse/cures the problem.

I looked under "Bad Breath" and saw that the cause to this problem could be Anger and revenge thoughts. Experiences backing up. while the new thought pattern is "I release the past with love. I choose to voice only love."

A while ago, a friend came to stay with me as a house guest for a month. It was a temporary thing as she awaits for a visa and a job offer to go back to where she originally used to live. Years ago she used to work in an Italian Restaurant back in Milan and she became very familiar with Italian kitchen. Everyday, she would cook one of my favorite dishes; sea food pasta, risotto, Steak, chicken with mushroom cream sauce... etc. She did not have to, but she wanted to contribute and share of herself, just could not stay around and do nothing. I was blessed with nice company and delicious food throughout her stay.

I remembered this story while I was praying for the Holy Spirit and inviting him into my day. I was reminded of the fruit of the spirit. That the Holy Spirit is not an idle tenant of our hearts. As a guest invited into our lives, he could not help it but work in us and produce fruit.

Today, as I go on with my day, I am expecting that every time I speak my breath comes out cool and fresh, reflecting pleasant, and kind thoughts and emotions dipped in tasty flavors of strawberry, lemon, berry, cheesecake and any other delicious flavor I could think of. :-)


For no longer there is any room for bitterness or revenge within me. As the spirit of God resides in me it cleans, washes, pulls the grass and plant fruit.

Today, I enjoy having a fresh minty flavored day...